A Stanford University sociology professor counted an extra 10 million single Americans right now compared to any other recorded period. Most are under 35. They are not pairing off, and when asked, they say finding a partner has become harder than it used to be. More than 6 in 10 single men and women believe dating is more difficult now than it was a decade ago, according to a report titled “Romantic Recession: How Politics, Pessimism, and Anxiety Shape American Courtship.”
The phrase “romantic recession” sounds like marketing language, but the numbers behind it are plain. People are struggling to connect, and their struggles are measurable. Changes in technology, safety concerns, social habits, and shifting priorities all play a role in this trend.
The Apps Are Exhausting Everyone
Forbes Health found that 78% of dating app users feel burnt out. The exhaustion is emotional, mental, and physical. The breakdown by generation shows consistency: 80% of millennials, 79% of Gen Z, 77% of Gen X, and 69% of Baby Boomers report this fatigue. Women report higher rates at 80%, compared to 74% of men.
The reasons are predictable. Forty percent say they cannot find a good connection. Twenty-seven percent cite rejection. Twenty-four percent are tired of repetitive conversations with multiple matches. Twenty-two percent are worn down by endless swiping.
The average user spends 51 minutes per day on these apps. Millennials spend 56 minutes daily. That is nearly an hour of scrolling through faces and bios, sending openers, and waiting for replies that may never come. Over time, this cycle becomes draining rather than exciting.
Tinder has lost paying users for six consecutive quarters. In the first quarter of 2024, Tinder had 10 million paying subscribers, a 9% drop from the previous year. In the U.K., Tinder lost 594,000 users between May 2023 and May 2024. Hinge dropped by 131,000 and Bumble by 368,000 in the same period.
Match Group’s revenue grew by only 3% in 2024 while its paying user base shrank by 5%. Bumble lost $557 million in 2024, up from $552 million the year before. These numbers suggest growing dissatisfaction with dating platforms.
Unconventional Arrangements and the Search for Clarity
Some people step away from apps entirely and pursue less conventional paths. Sugar baby relationships, for instance, appeal to those who want explicit terms from the start.
The frustration with mainstream dating often stems from unclear intentions and wasted time, so alternatives with defined expectations gain traction. This reflects a wider desire for transparency and emotional boundaries.
When 60% of people report being ghosted and nearly half admit to ghosting others, according to a 2023 survey, the appeal of any arrangement with stated boundaries becomes easier to understand.
Safety Concerns Have Grown
In 2019, 53% of Americans said dating apps are generally safe. By 2024, only 41% held that view. The majority, 58%, now say apps are not too safe or not safe at all.
Unmarried women have become especially wary. Only 35% say apps are safe, down from 58% a few years earlier.
The concerns have basis. FBI data shows catfishing cases increased by nearly 200% in recent years. About 30% of online daters have encountered fake profiles at least once. Four in 10 people scammed through catfishing were targeted on dating apps.
Romance scams cost Americans $1.14 billion in 2024, making trust one of the biggest barriers to modern dating.
Priorities Have Changed
Pew Research Center found that nearly 60% of singles are not looking for any type of relationship. Another 7% want only casual dates.
The two most common reasons single Americans give for not dating are having more important priorities and finding it difficult to meet people. Thirty-six percent cite priorities as a major factor, with women more likely than men to say this (45% versus 29%).
An identical 36% say meeting people is the problem. Thirty percent say they cannot find someone who meets their expectations.
The pandemic accelerated isolation, and social habits did not fully recover. Third places — bars, coffee shops, and community spaces where people used to meet — have dwindled.
More than 50% of couples in 2021 met online. A little more than 20% met in a bar or restaurant. Only 15% met through friends. Yet despite most couples meeting online, only 1 in 10 partnered adults met their current partner through a dating site or app.
The apps funnel attention but do not produce lasting results at the same rate.
Loneliness Has Compounded the Problem
The U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory comparing the health effects of loneliness to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
Half of American adults report measurable loneliness, and the numbers are higher among young people. The mortality impact of isolation rivals that of smoking daily and exceeds that of obesity. Loneliness correlates with heart disease, stroke, dementia, and early death.
Income plays a role. Americans earning less than $30,000 annually report the highest loneliness rates at 29%. Those earning between $50,000 and $100,000 report 19%, and those making more than $100,000 report 18%.
College Students Are Dating Less
For college-educated young men, the picture is stark. Four in 10 report having neither hooked up nor dated as undergraduates.
The campus, once a reliable source of romantic connection, no longer functions that way for a large portion of students.
Dr. Jennie Rosie, an associate professor at James Madison University, has studied this generation’s preferences. She found that Gen Z wants serious, long-term relationships but feels pressured by casual dating norms to act otherwise.
The mismatch between what they want and what they feel obligated to pursue creates friction.
Gen Z dating coach Rae Weiss describes swiping as “transactional, laborious, and scripted.” Her clients are moving away from apps because the format feels hollow and repetitive.
The Math Does Not Add Up
The pieces do not fit together neatly. People want connection but are burnt out on the tools designed to create it. They report loneliness but also say they have more important priorities than dating.
They spend nearly an hour a day on apps but rarely find partners through them. They want long-term relationships but participate in cultures that reward casual detachment.
In 2019, two-thirds of singles said their dating lives were not going well. In 2022, 63% said the pandemic made things worse.
The problem is not a single cause. It is a collection of frictions: exhaustion, fear, competing demands, economic strain, political division, eroded trust, and vanishing places to meet. Each one makes the next harder to overcome.
The extra 10 million single Americans are not failing at dating because they lack effort. They are working within systems that produce poor results.
The apps profit from engagement, not from successful matches. The economy rewards long hours and geographic mobility, not stable communities. The culture promotes self-protection over vulnerability.
Conclusion
Dating today is harder not because people have changed, but because the systems around connection have shifted. Technology promised efficiency but delivered burnout. Safety concerns replaced optimism. Social spaces shrank, while economic pressures grew.
People still want meaningful relationships. But when tools feel exhausting, risks feel high, and time feels scarce, staying single becomes the default. Until dating systems prioritize real human connection over engagement metrics, the romantic recession is likely to continue.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is dating harder now than before?
Dating is harder due to app burnout, safety concerns, shifting priorities, economic pressure, and fewer social spaces to meet organically.
Are dating apps becoming less effective?
Yes. People spend more time on apps, but fewer report finding long-term partners through them.
Why do people feel burned out by dating apps?
Rejection, repetitive conversations, endless swiping, and lack of meaningful connections contribute to burnout.
Is ghosting more common now?
Yes. Surveys show about 60% of people have experienced ghosting, making trust harder to maintain.
Do young people still want serious relationships?
Many Gen Z individuals want long-term relationships but feel pressured by casual dating culture.
How does loneliness affect dating?
Loneliness increases emotional fatigue and lowers motivation to build new connections.
Will dating improve in the future?
Dating may improve if platforms focus more on safety, trust, and meaningful matches rather than engagement metrics.
